0823

The Mean Man's Party

　　The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to the fifth floor and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."
"Why use my elbow and foot?"
"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-handed, are you?"

中文：


　　　　一个出了名的吝啬鬼终于决定要请一次客了。他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说：“你上到五楼，找中间那个门，然后用你的胳膊肘按门铃。门开了之后，再用你的脚把门推开。”
　　“为什么要用我的肘和脚呢？”
　　“你的双手得拿礼物啊。天哪，你总不会空着手来吧？”吝啬鬼回答。

0824

Dating for Mother

　　When the young waitress in the café in Tom’s building started waving hello everyday. Tom was flattered, for she was at least 15 years younger than he. One day she waved and beckoned to Tom again. When Tom strolled over, she asked, "Are you single?"

　　 "Why, yes," Tom replied, smiling at her broadly.

　　 "So is my mom," she said. "Would you like to meet her?"



中文：

约会

　　在汤姆工作的大楼里有一个咖啡屋，那儿总有一位小姐每天都和他打招呼。汤姆有些受宠若惊，因为这位小姐看上去至少比他年轻15岁。一天她又对汤姆招手并示意汤姆过去。于是汤姆走了过去。她问道，“您现在是单身吗？” “对，是单身，”汤姆满脸堆笑的说。 “我母亲也是，”她说，“您愿不愿意见见她？”

0825

We Left Nothing

　　 Mrs Brown was going out for the day. She locked the house and tacked a note for the milkman on the door: "NOBODY HOME. DON’T LEAVE ANYTHING."

　　 When she got back that night, she found her door broken open and her house ransacked. On the note she had left, she found the following message added:

　　 "THANKS! WE HAVEN’T LEFT ANYTHING!"

中文：


我们什么也没留下
　　布朗太太要外出一天。 她锁好了房门，在门上给送牛奶的人钉了一张便条：“家里没人，请不要留下任何东西！” 她当天晚上回家后发现房间门被撞开，房子被洗劫一空。在她留给送奶人的便条上，她发现被补充了一句： “谢谢！我们什么也没留下！”

0826

No Cavities
A smiling boy arrived home from a dental visit,"Hey mom,the dentist says I have no cavities. "

　　 His mom stared at him wide-eyed and quite surprised,"It’s impossible --you never brush your teeth after cleaning the chocolate box before you go to bed!

　　 Then the boy opened his mouth --he had not a tooth left!


中文：


我没有蛀牙
　　小男孩儿看完牙医，面带微笑地回到家：“嘿，妈妈，牙医说，我一颗蛀牙也没有。” 　　妈妈惊讶地瞪大眼睛：“不可能——你每回上床睡觉前都把巧克力盒子里的糖一下子吃完，而且从来不刷牙！” 　　这时，男孩儿张开了嘴巴——他的牙全被拔光了。

0827

It's His Fault

　　Billy and Bobby were brothers, and they often had fights with each other.
Last Saturday their mother said to them, "I'm going to cook our lunch now. Go out and play in the garden - and be good."
"Yes, Mummy." the two boys answered, and they went out.
They played in the garden for half an hour, and then Billy ran into the kitchen, "Mummy, " he said, "Bobby's broken a window in Mrs. Allens' house."
"He's a bad boy," his mother said. "How did he break it?"
"I threw a stone at him," Billy answered,"and he quickly ducked.".

中文：


　　比利和波比是两兄弟，两人经常打架。
　　上个星期六，他们的妈妈对他们说：“我现在要做午饭了。去，到花园去玩吧，别淘气。”
　　“是，妈妈。”两个男孩回答，然后他们就出去了。
　　他们在花园里玩了半个小时，然后比利跑进了厨房。“妈妈，”他说：“ 波比打碎了艾伦太太家的窗玻璃。”
　　“他是个坏孩子。”他妈妈说。“他是怎么把玻璃打碎的？”
　　“我朝他扔了一块石子，”比利回答：“他蹲下了。”

Dear fengfan4613:

Good idea, Pls persist in it, If you need, Pls freely tell me, I will support you.......     

good,very good

0828

Excuse for Speeding

　　 Harry and Lloyd were speeding down the road. A police car pulled them over.
　　‘Why on earth were you driving so fast?’ the policeman yelled.
　　'Our brakes are no good-so we wanted to get there before we had an accident!'

中文：
超速的理由

　　 哈里与劳埃德超速行驶，一辆警车拦住了他们。
　　“你们为什么开那么快？”警官喊道。
　　“我们的刹车不好，因此我们想在发生事故前赶紧到达目的地。”


[ 此贴被fengfan4613在2008-08-29 23:24重新编辑 ]

Quote:

引用第20楼frankpeng于2008-08-28 09:55发表的  :
Dear fengfan4613:

Good idea, Pls persist in it, If you need, Pls freely tell me, I will support you.......     

Dear frankpeng,

Thank you for your support.I will persist it for ever.

0829

The Reason of Late

　Teacher: Johnny, why are you late for school every morning?

　Johnny: Every time I come to the corner, a guidepost says, 'School -- Go Slow'.


中文：
迟到的原因

　　老师：约翰尼，为什么你每天早晨都迟到？

　　约翰尼：每当我经过学校附近的拐角处，就见路牌上写着'学校－缓行'。

very good，

just a joke

8月30日

1、Teacher:Why are you late for school every morning?
Tom:Every time I come to the corner,a sign says,"School-Go slow".
老师:为什么你每天早晨都迟到?
汤姆:每当我经过学校的拐角处,就看见一个牌子上写着"学校----慢行".

2.Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?
Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.
Teacher: Please tell us.
Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.

老师： 这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗？
学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。
老师：请说说看。
学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。

3、"Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?"
"A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl.

"你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，安？" 老师发问道。
"把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。" 小女孩回答道。

4、George comes from school on the first of September.
"George, how did you like your new teacher?" asked his mother.
"I didn't like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said
that two and four were six too....."

9月1日, 乔治放学回到家里。
"乔治，你喜欢你们的新老师吗？" 妈妈问。
"妈妈，我不喜欢，因为她说3加3得6, 可后来又说2加4也得6。"

5. Once in a physics examination, Nick finished the first question very soon, while his classmates
were thinking it hard.The question was: When it thunders why do we see the lighting first, then
hear the thunderrolls? Nick's answer: Because our eyes are before ears.

在一次物理考试时，当同学们都还在苦思冥想时，尼克很快就答好了第一个问题。
这个问题是：为什么在打雷时，我们总是先看到闪电后听到雷声？
尼克的回答是：因为眼睛在前，耳朵在后。

The Reason of  Late ??有这种表达的吗?我记得of  Late 是"近来"的意思.

0830(补)

Main Entrance

　　A shopkeeper was dismayed when a brand new business much like his own opened up next door and erected a huge sign which read ’BEST DEALS.’
　　 He was horrified when another competitor opened up on his right, and announced its arrival with an even larger sign, reading ’LOWEST PRICES.’
　　 The shopkeeper panicked, until he got an idea. He put the biggest sign of all over his own shop. It read ’MAIN ENTRANCE’.



中文：
主要入口处

　　一个商店主看到一个和他卖几乎相同东西的店在隔壁开张很慌张，那个店竖起一个大牌子："最好的商品"
　　他看到他的右边又有一个竞争对手，也有一个更大的牌子“最便宜的价格“他也很不安。
　　 终于他不再不安了，因为他想出了个好主意他树立了一个最大的牌子在中间，他的店面前：“主要入口处”